Abfall Unfall

As you may already know, I am currently living with Stefan's mom (meine Schwiegermutter) in Hagenbuch - a tiny little village on the outskirts of Zurich.  

Now some might think this month was bound to end badly.  But the entire thing has gone off almost entirely (see below for the one and only exception) without a hitch.  She has been so wonderful to me while I've been here - getting my favorite fruits when she goes shopping (even when a teeny basket of strawberries goes for close to $8), helping me with my Deutsch Hausaufgaben (homework), and always being willing to chat or cheer me up when I start to feel homesick.

One night when she was gone, I noticed the small little trash can in the kitchen (one that an American would fill in an hour or so, but that takes Esther a week) was full. Given that she does everything for me, I thought I'd be a proper house-guest by emptying it. 

I tied up the sack and headed out to the garage to toss it into a trash can, but when I looked, there wasn't a single trash can there. I then looked in the basement in every nook and cranny, but I couldn't find a single one there either. 

I was mind boggled.  In the home where I grew up, we had at least 10 trash cans in our garage - almost all of which were full by the time the garbage truck came around.

But then I remembered - there was a large dumpster-like container near the village schoolyard.  I'd simply take our bag and deposit it there.  Kein Problem!  Done and done.

The next night Esther returned late and came knocking on my door,

"KK!  Bist du wach?  Wo ist der Müllsack?  Wo ist der Abfall?"

(KK!  Are you awake?  Where is the trash bag?  Where is the trash?)

"Es habe es ins Schulehaus Abfallcontainer gegeben."

(I put it in the Schoolhouse trash container.)

"Sicher?  Nein!"

She then went onto to explain that in Switzerland, one can't simply throw their trash out wherever they please - each and every sack has a cost.  For every small, pint-size bag you produce, you cough up 2.5 Franken.  To prove your payment, you put a special sticker on the side of your sack and leave it on the road.  

average weekly trash production for a family of 5 = 2 baby bags

As you might expect, this type of incentive system results in a whole lot of recycling and composting.  Only the very worst of the worst makes it into der Müllsack.

She went on to explain that any bag without a sticker would be left behind by the garbage collectors.  

"Was passiert denn?"  I asked, beginning to be concerned for my Abfall misstep.
(What happens then?)

"Manchmal, sind die Leute schauen durch den Sack nach einer Quittung oder einen Brief oder etwas mit deinem Namen darauf."
(Sometimes the people look through the sack for a receipt or a letter or anything with your name on it.)

I was positive I had left something with the name Fischer in the bag - and in this small little Dorf, they'd know exactly whose door to go knocking on.

She laughed and told me not to worry.  She didn't think people called the police, but then again, most of the people put proper stickers on their sacks.  

"Wahrscheinlich hast du mich gerettet 2.5 Franken!"
(You probably saved me 2.5 Franks!)

She laughed again and wished me a good nights' sleep.  But I could not sleep.  All I could think about was the Swiss Polizei coming to our door in mass.

 

from here

"WIR HABEN DEINEN ABFALL!"

While they haven't come a knocking yet, you'll know what happened to me should these blogs suddenly stop appearing - the ONLY possible explanation is that I have been taken prisoner for my unforgiveable Abfall Unfall.

(Trash Accident)

xoxo

KK