Kaka and the Caca

So I know it's still a full week away but I am already super pumped to head home to Milwaukee for Thanksgiving.  The holiday is a big one in our family - one filled with a full assortment of fantastic traditions that I know you'll all want to steal once you hear about them.  But let's not get ahead of ourselves, more on that post-turkey-day.  

One of the primary reasons I'm extra antsy to get home for the holidays this year is because I missed out on last year's festivities.  I had taken advantage of the extra days off, took the full week, and flew over to Switzerland to visit my then-long-distance, but now-live-in (thank goodness!), boyfriend.  Don't feel too bad - we spent the long weekend wine tasting in the Burgundy region of France.

Staying here:

La Maison d'Olivier Leflaive

Eating this:

A 5-course French dinner with 14 wine tastings to pair

(Thank goodness we stayed where we ate.  No driving allowed after this meal.)

More here

And buying that:

 

1

Besides the half case of amazing 8-euro table wine and a few other obligatory bottles we bought after each of our tastings, I purchased one delicious bottle of a fine Grand Cru that I am supposed to age for the next 25 years.  I told Stefan if he's around then, he's welcome to share it with me.  (Hey - there's no shame in a little encouragement and bribery.)

Since we were missing out on Thanksgiving, we decided to make a weekend trip to my hometown for a weekend o' fun with my parents the following weekend.  Stefan happened to be flying back through the States on his way back to Geneva from a work trip in Peru (or was it Mexico? Bolivia? Ecuador? Brazil?  I can't ever keep it straight), my parents were hosting my dad's office Holiday Party which is always a hoot, and I snuck an extra day off to fly in on the red-eye Thursday night.  It was perfect.

It was Stefan's first time in Milwaukee so I wanted to pull out all the stops.  One night, we'd dine at the cozy and fun Buckley's bar.  Saturday, we'd do cheese and cocktails at my parents' Holiday Party but then sneak out for a date at Lake Park Bistro.  I'd give him a tour of my alma mater, my mom would show him the DVD of me starring in Annie Get your Gun (oh, how I love being the COA*), and the two of us would pour through old photo albums in front of a toasty fire roaring in my parents' floor-to-ceiling stone fireplace. 

*Center of Attention - abbreviated for the frequency with which this occurs in my life

Buckley's and Lake Park Bistro

AND finally, last but certainly not least, he'd meet my fabulously stylish, sophisticated, refined, and elegant grandmother - Kaka.  The three of us (plus my mom and dad) would do lunch at the Milwaukee Country Club, of course.

I had prepped Stefan on lunch for weeks. 

Me: "Now, the MCC is SUPER fancy.  We're talking serious elegance and sophistication.  Kaka would never take us anyplace less than la creme da creme.  You'll need to wear a jacket. And maybe a tie."

Him: "A tie?  For lunch?"

Me: "Yes, yes - this place is NICE.  We're talking very, very refined.  We'll be brushing shoulders with Milwaukee's elite - the most dignified, cultivated, and cultured of the Midwest.  There are no bad manners allowed here."

So needless to say, he was ready when the clock struck twelve.  We walked through the big front door and were escorted to our table through the main hall outfitted with a lovely spread of seasonal decorations.  "Where can I hang my coat?" Stefan asked politely.  "Right through there in the men's room, sir," the kind gentleman told him. 

In he went.

The rest of us sat, began chatting, and browsed through the menu.  My mom and I would get the salmon, my dad - an omelette, Kaka - the Benedict.  Then out came Stefan as white as a ghost.  He gently sat himself down, gingerly placing his napkin on his lap. 

"What's the matter, Stefan?" my mom asked jollily.  Stefan glanced around the table nervously as we all waited for his response.  "Come on now," she egged him.  "Tell us."

He slowly leaned over and whispered into her ear.  Within seconds she was in hysterics.  "Are you serious?  No way!  That is hilarious!  In that bathroom?  Oh my goodness - this is too good to be true!"

Apparently, a poor gentleman - who perhaps had had one too many prunes - had found the journey from the men's room door to the bathroom stall a bit too arduous and didn't quite make it all the way.  Stefan had had the honor of being welcomed to Milwaukee's most elite establishment by a long (and a bit smelly) brown carpet of - you guessed it - Scheiße. 

We laughed for days. 

More Milwaukee stories to come soon.  Stay tuned.

xoxo
KK