why wed?

About a year ago, while having a delicious cocktail with my fab friend Deb, she let it slip that she never planned on having a wedding.  She was head over heels for her sure-to-be hubby but felt no need to go through the whole hoopla of a big shindig. 

The second she said it my jaw dropped to the floor. 
No dress, no tux, no dad walking you down the aisle?? 
No bridesmaids, no groomsmen, no flower girls in cute little dresses??
No toasts, no cake, no dancing until your feet are sore?? 
The thought was horrific to me - I couldn't imagine not LEAPING at the once-in-a-lifetime (we all hope) opportunity to plan and throw the most sensational and special party known to mankind.

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But after 21 days into Stefan and my engagement, I am beginning to change my tune.  It's amazing how complicated the whole process of picking a date and then selecting a location and then deciding on a venue (let alone food and drink and flowers and photography) becomes oh-so-very quickly.  

 

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I always imagined the whole thing being so easy - he'd ask me, I'd say yes, we'd decide when and where and how to wed, and then all our friends and family would be positively thrilled at whatever we choose.  But that's not how it works.  Once you're engaged, the world suddenly doesn't stop and start revolving around you. (And thank goodness for that because the ratio of my weddings to other people's weddings is not all that favorable.)

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Instead, things just keep turning as they always did and there still ends up being a plethora of others' wishes and schedules and constraints to be juggled when wedding decisions are being made.  In our case, so much so that I've gotten very close to throwing in the towel - forcing my mom and Charlotte and sister and - most of all - Stefan to deal with my bridezilla-like breakdowns, which let me tell you: are by no means lady-like.

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With all this stress and concern over making those around us pleased with the nuptials, it's easy to lose sight of the most important part of the whole process: the fact that we're deciding to spend the rest of our lives together.  Really one wedding weekend does not a marriage make.  We could get married at the local trash dump and it would still be magical - I'd still be going home with Stefan as my permanent other half. 
In fact, that's not a half bad idea; I bet there aren't too many people who decide to do that - at least it would be original.

So for all of you who are wondering when and where and how and what, you're just going to hold your horses: Stefan and I might have quite a few things to juggle, but we're not letting it make us lose sight of the main act: us saying "I do" (or "I will" as they say in die Schweiz).  Together we're quite the pair of acrobats and we're in the middle of planning a darn magical show.  Stay tuned.

 

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xoxo
KK